


The best day of Wade Winston Wilson's life.

by LlamaLlamaNewt



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Earth-1218, Gen, M/M, Not RPF, author replaces wade's boxes, i am just as crazy as wade, not a self-insert, wade yells at me to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-04-28
Packaged: 2018-10-25 01:30:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10753935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LlamaLlamaNewt/pseuds/LlamaLlamaNewt
Summary: Wade kisses Peter... Or well... Ryan kisses Andrew. Deadpool loves it.I don't even know what just happened. Pure Crack. Seriously, what are you even thinking of reading this?





	The best day of Wade Winston Wilson's life.

** The Best Day in Wade Winston Wilson’s Life **

_Somewhere, Wade Wilson is crying._

Actually, I’m right here. And I am going to tell this story, not you.

_Alright, fine. Tell away; gods, and to think I was trying to do something nice for you._

I don’t like the attitude missy! It was my triumph! I get to tell all about how I made out with my Babyboy finally!

_Well it wasn’t yo-_

IT WAS PRACTICALLY ME.

_Alright, alright. Jeeze._

Scram, and let me tell my story.

_Fine, I’m gone._

Good.

…

Oh, she actually left. Alright. Uh… Well…. Hi. My name is Wade Winston Wilson, and uh… this is the story of the greatest day in my life.

_Seriously Wade? Greatest Day in your life?_

SHUT UP. I’m telling it.

_Then tell it right._

I’m supposed to have the attitude problem here, not you.

_Fuck you. I can have an attitude problem if I want. You don’t have a monopoly on shitty attitudes._

…..Do you want to talk about it?

_No.Tell the story of the greatest day in your life._

Are you sure? I’m sure one of the Avengers or the goody-two-shoes X-Men would listen if you needed help.

_Brice isn’t that kind of Doctor._

Brice?

_Bruce. Fuck off. It’s been a long week and I’m on new meds and I feel like shit._

Do you want to tell my story?  You love Spidey almost as much as I do. It’s probably why you started to write it, isn’t it.

_Well, yes. But I’d rather you got to gush about his butt. That’s kind of important._

Okay, yes, it is. It is the MOST important…. But I would be totally willing to let you help.

_How gracious of you._

I am not one of the good guys. What did you honestly expect?

_You to not ramble on about me and to ramble about Spidey’s butt and Ryan Reynolds getting to Kiss Andr-_

HEY. I’M GOING TO TELL IT.

 _Then get on with it_.

Alright, alright.

Okay, so, I got to kiss Spidey.

What, you’re not going to interrupt? Cool. Okay. So I got to kiss my beautiful baby boy. He let me kiss him. My wife let me kiss him, it was glorious. I just didn’t get to touch his **fantastic** ass.

Okay hold on. Seriously chica, where did you go?

_Who, me?_

No, the boxes.

_They’re around somewhere._

What? You’re so mean. You wrote in the boxes?

_Not yet._

Asshole.

_Pot, kettle._

I’m rolling my eyes at you. ANYWAYS – Spidey. Well, technically it was Andrew. But he is the perfect Spiderbabe in all honestly. And he made an agreement to kiss me – or well, a version of me. Ryan Reynolds is me. Ryan Reynolds in Earth-1218 is me, so, there’s that.

He kissed me. My wife let him. She **encouraged** it even!

Fuck that other guy, Ryan Duckling, or whatever his name was He can have to stupid Oscar. I got to kiss Spidey.

_Was it good?_

Soooooo good; He does the thing with the hands on the face. It was everything I’d ever dreamed.

 _I am so jealous_.

You’re like half gay.

_It's called Bi. And so are you._

Oh I totes am. You can have Blake though. Andrew was mine in that moment.

_Nah, I’ll just keep watching you._

That’s slightly creepy and voyeuristic.

_It’s part of being a fanfic writer. We all write something creepy, kinky, and voyeuristic at some point in our careers._

You’re feeling off again, aren’t you?

_What makes you say that?_

You started this like… months ago. Your meds have stabilized. What happened?

_Nothing. Let me just watch you and Pete kiss, yeah?_

Sure thing, lady face. It was honestly wonderful, and … you know what? I’m going to go hop off to another fic and get my kicks. Hey!  I could go get me some Peter and some MJ in your other fic. When are you going to finish that anyways?

_Oh not you too._

Hey, I want to know how my story ends.

 _Soon_.

DO IT.

_Fine. Doing it. Thanks Wade._

Anytime.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Seriously, why did you read this?


End file.
